Disclaimer: If you remember me scaling trees
on a daily basis, bringing snakes home to live in my sock drawer, and wearing a
baseball glove 24/7 (mom), or are a step-child of mine, I’m not responsible for
any recovery therapy needed if you read this.
A beloved
family member called me, about a year ago, to talk about the dying spark he wanted
to resurrect with his first serious partner. Desperate and saddened he asked how
something so right changed so quickly. Did love just vanish? I asked, as
delicately as possible, if he was experiencing lust instead of love.
He insisted on
love, but after the spark faded the relationship soon followed. The experience
left a sour taste in his mouth and a wound in his heart, but proved what I’d
suspected about the powerful emotions he described and how they faded.
Lust doesn’t
last; love does.
Romance comes
in many forms, some last for moments in time and others last forever. Those
crazy days, or months, or years, as everything runs hot and wild are what I call
“early onset romance.” I love it so much I write about it, drawing on sparks of
my own experience and the well of my imagination, to bring those precious experiences
to life on paper. I’ll even admit that I miss the days when two minutes didn’t
pass without extreme PDA, and we spent every possible evening, morning, and
afternoon doing (cough, cough – in case mom ignored the disclaimer) stuff.
In my
opinion, lust is one of the most powerful, wondrous and sometimes overwhelming
physical and emotional experiences a person can have. Hoever, lust isn’t the
end game, and if the romance can’t last past those flashing moments, let it go.
If we all remained in “early onset romance” mode bills wouldn’t get paid, dog
poo would pile up in backyards across the nation, and streets would fill with
bodies dropping from fatigue. Lust is not sustainable.
True romance,
love, develops a stronger bond than mere lust. Love requires work and support,
but with it, you thrive. Those emotional and sexual highs still flare up, and I
do enjoy them. One of my favorite moments happens when my personal alpha male
gives me a slow smile and asks if I want to watch a movie. His words, code
developed during our “early onset romance,” send a tingle down my spine. I
cherish those moments as much as I cherish the times we sit down to watch a
movie, able to be quiet and with each other without all of the extras, love at
its finest.
The “early
onset” romance thrills, filled with electric sparks building into a raging fire.
Living the emotions, action, lust and suspense of the romantic story is a joy for
the reader and writer. The benefit of writing romance novels is listening to
the characters clamoring in my head for attention (not the neighbor’s dog – not
those kinds of voices) and nurturing the ones who can truly develop a strong,
enduring love.
I offer a
promise of true love winning in all of my writings. I wish I could offer the
same promise to the much beloved young man who called me late one night a year
ago. Life would be easier if I had the ability to say, “This is the one.” His
first relationship didn’t last, neither did the second, but I’ll always
encourage him to keep trying, enjoy the lust and cherish the love when it
comes.
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